“I carried you every second of your life, and I will love you every second of mine…”

 

I had two early losses, one at 9 weeks in 2011 and one at 11 weeks in 2013 then I got pregnant again with a boy.

My son’s pregnancy was totally normal and no complications or issues. I went all the way to 42 weeks and had to be induced. I labored for over 30 hours with absolutely no problems or medication at all. Suddenly, without any warning, my son’s (Silas) heart rate plummeted to the 50’s.

A very hasty emergency cesarean was performed under general anesthetic. When I woke up I was alone and no one would tell me where my son was. My husband came through the curtain sobbing and delivered the news that Silas was born silently, without a heartbeat and couldn’t be revived.

I am one of the founders of HEALing Embrace, a nonprofit that journeys with families going through pregnancy and infant loss here in Omaha. This organization was birthed out of the death of my 3 children (and my business partner’s 2 losses).

My daughter, Sadie (she was wearing a yellow tutu and a onesie that said “Best Little Sister” on it) was born 15 month after Silas was born. She is my world and she looks so much like her big brother.