I had the pleasure of meeting Brenda shortly after she had welcomed her twin boys, Raymond and Theodore into the world. I did not yet know of her journey, but throughout the time that I have known her she has shared with me. In honor of Pregnancy, Infant Loss and Awareness month, she wanted to share her story with you.
I always wanted children, I just had other things going on when I was younger and hadn’t found the right man for me yet. I did get pregnant young which ended in a miscarriage in the Emergency room with a boyfriend at the time who was abusive so it was probably God’s way of letting me know to get away.
So I focused on myself, went to college, and eventually met Ted, my longterm boyfriend/fiance now. He has 2 daughters of his own who are now 15 and 16 years old, but when we met were 8 and 9…he thought he was done having children and I expressed how important it was for me to have children and he agreed and we began trying. I got pregnant right away, we were ecstatic and told his Mom and others. Just a few weeks later I started bleeding at work and at 10 weeks suffered a miscarriage.
Heartache and lots of crying followed. Ted’s brother, Ray was the one who introduced Ted and I and he understood how I felt about wanting a baby of my own. We talked about it. Ted had a harder time understanding I think because he already had children. After another year we found out I was pregnant again, we weren’t really trying but decided if it happened, it happened. Ted was working out of town at the time so we talked alot over the phone after my doctors visits.
The 1st ultrasound there was no heartbeat, but the doctor said it was too soon, not to worry and scheduled another appointment. Next appointment still no heartbeat and all of a sudden there were 2 babies, doctor said to still not worry, maybe I wasn’t as far along as they thought. She seemed stumped. I decided to get another opinion and sought out a specialist. They said the same thing, too soon to worry. Waiting and praying for 2 little heartbeats was hard…I don’t do well with not knowing and having to wait.
Next ultrasound the doctor said it wasn’t looking good and if my body didn’t decide to miscarry we would have to schedule a d & c. I’ve never cried so much. I wanted to know why was God punishing me? So at 12 weeks a d&c was scheduled and they also did genetic testing to see what could of gone wrong and were able to tell me the gender. Twin girls. Nothing was wrong, there was no explanation for why their little hearts never developed or began beating. I was crushed.
My d&c was on Dec. 20th, 2013. That same week my Grandmother passed away on Dec. 24th and I was fired from my job for a no tolerance policy on absences. That same month was also the month we took in 2 of Ted’s nephews as foster kids, Karmyne was 4 and Gioni 2. I put all my energy into them little boys from then on. They saved me from my depression and kept me going, I’m sure. Ted and I didn’t discuss trying anymore. We were so busy with his nephews.
A year went by and on November 10th, Ted’s brother Ray tragically passed away. We were all devastated. Ray was the oldest and it hit Ted’s mother hard….February 2015, I end up at my doctor’s office feeling weak, throwing up, chills, etc. He decides to hospitalize me due to dehydration. And he tells me that my test came back positive. I was pregnant. What?!? How?!? I have the flu…or so I had thought. My period wasn’t even technically late yet. I was so scared, unsure, and worried about another loss. It didn’t even feel that it was real. I told myself it wasn’t…not until I heard a heartbeat.
My ultrasound was scheduled at 8 weeks..early on because I was considered high risk due to losses and my age. Ted was running late for the ultrasound when it began. Right away the lady said there’s the heartbeat. And then she said and there’s another one…I was smiling and asked what? There’s 2 heartbeats? She said yep…in walks Ted. I looked at him smiling and said there’s 2 heartbeats. He just sat there holding up 2 fingers, I think in shock. Lol…a week later I suffered some spotting and ran to the ER….they were both still fine.
To this day we all believe that Ted’s brother put in a good word for us to God when he passed…and told him to give us 2…lol…my twins arrived Sept. 7, 2015, at 28 weeks and 5 days. They each weighed 3 lbs 2 oz. They spent 2 months in the NICU. And the older one is named after Ted’s brother, Raymond II. His Mom cried when we told her and still does when she’s around him. These 2 babies came into our lives at the right time. They truly are our miracles. And god blessed us twice.
Thank you Brenda for sharing your story with us <3